The 5 Stages of Love and Your Mid-Life Marriage – MenAlive


We’ve all heard that people fall in love in 5 stages. From the initial intense infatuation to the later stage of growing intimacy, life seems to follow a predictable path. But what about marriage?

How often do couples start off with the same warm feelings they had when they first met? And how long do they stay in love? In this section of MenAlive, we look at the 5 stages of marriage, to help you understand your love life better.


Love is a funny thing. It can be a fleeting notion, an overwhelming emotion, or a beautiful connection that lasts forever. It can be a universal experience, a transient state, or an important part of your life for the rest of your days.

Love has become one of the most popular topics to discuss, analyzed and analyzed again in books, movies, TV shows and of course, magazines. But do you ever stop and think about where love comes from? What makes it tick? And what happens after the initial rush of passion fades away?

Mid-life marriage is one of the most challenging times in a man’s life. This is when you’re faced with the choice to move forward or stay in an unsatisfying relationship. Many couples hold on to the hope that maybe, just maybe, they can pull themselves out of the rut and get back to where they once were. But are you ready to take the chance? If you want to move forward, you need to make a change.

Are you above the age of 40? Have you forgotten what it’s like to be loved? Are you concerned that your marriage may end in divorce? Is one of you leaving the relationship while the other clings to it with both hands?


Too many marriages in their forties and fifties fail precisely when the pair should be enjoying their time together. I hope you’ll continue reading if you responded “yes” to any of these questions. After more than four decades of dealing with hundreds of couples, I understand how tough this may be.

For starters, most individuals find that midlife is the most challenging period of their lives. People are happier when they are younger, according to studies from across the globe, and they become happy again later in life.

However, the pressures of life between the ages of 40 and 60 have a significant impact on individuals. The numbers aren’t encouraging. Around half of all first marriages end in divorce, while 60% of second marriages end in disaster. Even good marriages do not always last, and many individuals suffer from emotional difficulties as a consequence.

In the past twenty-five years, the divorce rate among people over forty has doubled. Anyone who has gone through a divorce in their forties or fifties understands how painful it can be. As we recall the poet Robert Browning’s lines, “Grow old with me, the best is yet to come,” there is a loss of the hope of happiness at this stage of life. A couple’s financial stability is also jeopardized as they destroy all they’ve created over the years.


Finally, when you’re 40, 50, or 60, you have the option of starting again and reconstructing your life. There is, fortunately, a method to avoid the mid-life marital breakdown that so many individuals dread. There is a path ahead that will allow you to live a life that is even more passionate, powerful, and productive than before. You can find true, long-lasting love.

The mother of innovation, as we all know, is need. After two optimistic marriages and two bitter divorces, I made the decision to either remain alone forever or discover the key to true, enduring love. Fortunately, I discovered the solution. In addition, I discovered my real love.

Carlin and I have been together for over four decades. In my book, The Enlightened Marriage: The 5 Transformative Stages of Relationships and Why the Best Is Yet to Come, I wrote about what we learnt. You can get your hands on a copy right now. Understanding the 5 Stages of Love, and particularly the purpose of Stage 3, is the key to avoiding a midlife marital breakdown. The 5 Stages are as follows:

  • The First Stage: Falling in Love
  • Stage 2: Forming a Partnership
  • Disillusionment is the third stage.
  • Stage 4: Developing Genuine, Long-Lasting Love
  • Stage 5: Changing the World with the Power of Two

The first two phases are well-known to most people. In Stage 1, we are drawn to and fall in love with that particular someone. We become a couple in Stage 2 and begin to create a life together.

The next step, we believe, will be the last one. “And they lived happily ever after,” we envision Stage 3 to be. We don’t comprehend what Stages 1 and 2 are for. From an evolutionary standpoint, falling in love is nature’s way of persuading humans to form pairs. Being a pair is nature’s method of inducing us to have children so that the species may continue to exist.


It was never intended to bring us joy. So, what exactly is the point of Stage 3: Disillusionment? From an evolutionary standpoint, it serves to separate us so that we may find new mates and produce more offspring. But what I discovered is that there is a much greater purpose that may take us to Stage 4, True Lasting Love, and Stage 5, Finding Your

Calling as a Couple, allowing us to make a positive difference in the world. Stage 3 has the ability to push us to be honest with ourselves and our spouse, to let go of the lies we tell each other. It may also assist us in being the person we were born to be. It may also aid in the healing of previous scars from our childhood families (and yes, we’ve all been hurt and have some healing to do).

I’ve found that the work we do in Stage 3 may be the most important work we’ll ever do, both for healing our relationships and also for becoming the person we were meant to be. I consider relationships to be the graduate school of life.

We need support, training, and courage to navigate through all 5 Stages of Love.  I also learned that we don’t just go through Stage 3 one time. We often spiral deeper and deeper as we return to the issues that Stage 3 brings up and we can heal even more.

Like all Hero’s Journeys, this one is challenging. But it can also be fun and exciting. I invite you to join me on the journey. I’ve developed three programs to help you successfully navigate all 5 stages: #1: The Self-Help Program which you can follow with my book The Enlightened Marriage: The 5 Transformative Stages of Relationships and Why the Best is Still to Come. #2: In-Depth, personal, private, sessions for individuals and couples with me. #3: Join the Diamond-Tribe where you are part of a unique community of high-quality men and women led by me.

Many choose 1, 2, and 3. Some choose other combinations. If you’d like more information about how to achieve real lasting love, drop me a note to [email protected]. Put “Real Love” in the subject line and tell me what stage you’re in and what challenges you are facing and I’ll send you all the information.

Some men have great marriages in their 30s and 40s, while others find their 30s and 40s boring and difficult. What is different is what happens in each stage. We can define the 5 stages in different ways, but the important thing is that the first 4 stages all feature a new woman in his life.. Read more about phases of romantic love and let us know what you think.


The 5 bonding stages for a man are as follows:

1. First meeting
2. Falling in love
3. Getting married
4. Having children
5. Becoming grandpas

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the 5 stages of marriage?

There are 5 stages of marriage. They are engagement, dating, engagement, married, and widowhood.

What are the stages of love in a marriage?

There are many stages of love in a marriage. Some include infatuation, attraction, romance, intimacy, and commitment.

What are the 5 bonding stages for a man?

The 5 bonding stages for a man are as follows: 1. First meeting 2. Falling in love 3. Getting married 4. Having children 5. Becoming grandpas