Relationships are complex, and many couples end up in stages 3 and 4: The Deep, Dark Stage 3, and the even more complicated Stage 4. In this article I will discuss the three stages of a relationship and how to navigate through them. Stage 3 The first stage of a relationship is very exciting, but this period can also be very stressful. You feel like you are in a whirlwind, and sometimes you may even feel like you are in a dream, which can be very frightening. Stage 3 is when you are going at it like rabbits. You are ready to hop right into marriage with no thought of the future. You are not going to ask your partner for money, because you aren’t even sure if they have
Irritable Female Syndrome (I.F.S.) is a type of hormonal imbalance that is easily treatable. There are three stages of I.F.S. and it is important to know what stage you are in.
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I’ve been dealing with a lot of female irritation recently. My men’s group has heard about it. It’s being described by friends. I believe it has something to do with the present outpouring of support for Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton.
The following are some of the things I’ve heard from men:
“When I tell my wife about my chronic foot discomfort, she exhibits no understanding. When she’s in pain, I attempt to console her with loving compassion. She becomes impatient and furious when I’m in pain.”
“We’ve been experiencing financial difficulties recently as our area’s economy continues to deteriorate. When I attempt to communicate with my wife, she is inundated with inquiries. She’s rat-a-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat
“I can’t seem to do anything right lately. I work my ass off to keep us afloat, but when I come home tired she’s got more and more things she wants me to do, and the tone in her voice always has a sharp edge.”
This isn’t only something that men are observing. Women are talking about their own irritation issues.
“I’m not sure what’s wrong with me. Things seem to be bothering me more these days. I’ve turned into a genuine b*tch. I know it bothers my spouse, and he gives me that wounded, hurt-puppy expression, which makes me more angrier. I’m not sure what’s going on with me.”
“I have two children, but three if you include my spouse. I have to remind him to do things around the home on a regular basis. It’s as though I’ve taken on the role of his mother. I despise it, yet he continues to irritate me.”
“I’m becoming more angry with everyone, including my spouse, children, and friends. “Sometimes all I want to do is run away and get out of here.”
I noticed an upsurge in irritation among males a few years ago, especially those between the ages of 40 and 60 who were going through Andropause. I conducted a four-year investigation. My book The Irritable Male Syndrome: Understanding and Managing the 4 Key Causes of Depression and Aggression described my discoveries and lessons gained that may be beneficial to both men and women.
I discovered 50 symptoms (you can take the entire exam here) that were suggestive of Irritable Male Syndrome in a study I performed with over 60,000 men (IMS). The most frequent are listed below.
It’s as though he’d been emotionally scorched. Every little thing seems to irritate him. She feels as though she’s walking on eggshells to avoid triggering him. He has the impression that everyone is trying to annoy him.
Anxiety is a feeling of dread, dread, and terror brought on by the expectation of a real or imagined hazardous event or scenario. IMS guys are always worried and afraid. They are coping with a variety of genuine dangers, including sexual changes, employment insecurity, and relationship issues. Many uncertainties also drive males to ponder and daydream about future issues that may or may not arise.
IMS guys believe they are unable to achieve their goals and objectives in life. They often feel defeated in their efforts to better their life. These guys are dissatisfied with their connections with their families, friends, and coworkers. They don’t sure where, how, or if they belong in this changing world.
Anger is described as a strong sense of dissatisfaction or animosity. Anger, on the other hand, is a complicated emotion. When expressed in this way, it may escalate to aggressiveness and violence. It may lead to despair and suicide if it is directed inward. Anger may be outspoken and overt, or it can be subtle and hidden. Anger may be audible or non-audible. It may take the form of venomous words, injurious deeds, or dead silence.
Many women, I’ve discovered, have similar sentiments. Hypersensitivity and fury are more prevalent in males, whereas frustration and anxiety are more common in women, according to my research. All four may cause sadness in both men and women.
When I looked at the underlying causes of IMS in males, I discovered four that were the most common.
- Hormonal shifts
Testosterone is a crucial hormone for men’s health (and women). The author of The Alchemy of Love and Lust, Theresa L. Crenshaw, M.D., compares testosterone to a young Marlon Brando: “sexual, sensuous, seductive, and dark, with a deadly undertone.” When males use testosterone-like drugs to bulk up, we’ve heard of “roid fury.” Men, on the other hand, are more likely to feel irritated when their testosterone levels are too low than when they are too high.
- Changes in biochemistry.
Serotonin is a brain chemical that most people are familiar with. We feel happy when we have enough information running through our heads. We feel terrible when there isn’t enough. What most people don’t realize is that what we eat has an impact on our serotonin levels.
A high protein, low carbohydrate diet may cause serotonin levels to decrease, according to Judith Wurtman, Ph.D., and her colleagues at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. They discovered that males often confuse appetites for healthful carbs like those found in rice, maize, and squash with cravings for animal protein. “Eating protein when we need carbs makes us angry, irritated, or restless,” Wurtman adds.
It’s no secret that stress levels are at an all-time high. Our economic system seems to be on the verge of collapsing. We are concerned about whether we will have a job tomorrow and how we will provide for our families as the cost of living continues to increase. The world’s population has risen to 7.4 billion people.
Every day, according to the United Nations Population Division, 216,000 children are born. Even if they don’t all come to our town, the strain is felt by all of us, and our stress levels rise.
- Male identity is being eroded.
The masculine role was obvious for much of human history. Our primary responsibility was to “bring home the bacon.” Everyone had a work and contributed to the family’s, tribe’s, and village’s well-being. However, many of us today labor in professions that we despise, providing products or services that have no actual societal value.
I observe comparable factors contributing to women’s heightened irritation once again. Although we are all aware of hormonal changes in women as they age, not everyone is aware of the shift in estrogen-to-testosterone balance. As estrogen levels fall, the testosterone-to-estrogen ratio rises, making women more irritable and “testy.” Women, like males, often follow “low carb” diets, which may enhance irritability by lowering serotonin levels. Finally, women must cope with rising stress levels and shifting responsibilities.
But there is hope. In my new book coming out this summer, The Enlightened Marriage: The 5 Transformative Stages of Relationships and Why the Best is Still to Come, I talk about why Stage 3, Disillusionment, is often the time when irritability and anger begin to undermine our relationships. The key to getting through this difficult stage is to practice loving kindness so that we can embrace Stage 4, Real Lasting Love and Stage 5, Couples Coming Together to Change the World.
Our anxiety grows as we deny these changes. At home, we’ve discovered that our relationships are in shambles. We tend to vote for candidates who are irritable, angry, humiliating, and blaming in politics. We will either come together with greater empathy or draw away with rage and fear at this time. I eagerly await your feedback.
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This article broadly covered the following related topics:
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- syndrome and the underminer
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- undermining in marriage
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