6 Sexual Secrets Men Hide From the World: Learning Them Can Improve Your Sex and Love Life – MenAlive

Source: healthing.ca

If you’re still single and you’re not getting any younger, it’s time to stop living in the past. You’re not that old. You’ll find a partner eventually, but you need to get out there and start searching for one. To do this, you need to know how to act, how to come across and how to move on after the first date. These are critical skills that you can learn from older men who have a lot of experience. It’s time to stop living on your instincts and start learning from the experiences of others.

Everyone has a secret. It’s one of the characteristics that distinguishes us as human beings. However, there are a lot of sexual secrets that guys maintain that they aren’t even aware of. Knowing and comprehending these secrets is beneficial to both men and women.

One of the advantages of being a guy for 75 years and a therapist who specializes in dealing with men for the past 50 years is that I hear things that other men don’t. In my books, such as Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places, and essays, such as “The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex,” I also learn a lot and share what I discover.

Some of the secrets I’ll disclose may seem apparent at first glance, but there are buried riddles that can only be discovered by digging deeper. Let’s start with the secret I mentioned in the last post. More than 2 million people have seen the piece so far, indicating that it has struck a chord with both men and women.

1. There is one thing that men want above and beyond sex

Source: thehealthy.com

Sure, guys desire sex, and it’s a common misconception that “all men want is sex.” Men, on the other hand, need to feel secure in order to really enjoy sex. When we’re doing it, we’re at our most vulnerable. Imagine our forefathers and mothers 2 million years ago on Africa’s savannas, surrounded by peril. If you were found without your trousers on, you might be devoured by the panther that had been prowling the camp.

We don’t have to worry about wild creatures biting our bottoms while we’re having love anymore, but we still need to feel secure. Years ago, my mother came to see us and said the following morning, “It was wonderful to hear the two of you enjoying yourself.” For a month after she departed, I couldn’t get an erection. We all need a secure haven in which to appreciate life and to really experience true, enduring love.

2. Sex is more important to male genes than anything else

Source: insider.com

Humans contain 23 pairs of chromosomes, as everyone knows. We also have around 20,500 genes, all wrapped up in DNA and stored in each of the billions of cells that make you who you are. It was previously believed that our genes determined our fate, but we now know that the environment, including our thoughts and emotions, influences what genes do.

Nonetheless, we are all derived from ancestors who found a sexual partner, had intercourse, gave birth to a child, and the child lived to produce children of its own. Richard Dawkins, an evolutionary scientist, offers us a gene’s eye perspective of the world in his book The Selfish Gene, and argues that, in the domain of sex, the genes urge us to have sex, even at the cost of our own pleasure and health.

Our genetic inheritance isn’t meant to make us happy; rather, it’s meant to be handed on to future generations, and “doing what comes naturally” may not be the greatest strategy.

3. Men produce sperm, whereas women produce eggs

Source: bellybelly.com.au

Whether we are fish, ferns, or humans, biologists have a very basic and helpful description of what is male and what is female. An person may produce a high number of tiny gametes (sex cells) or a smaller number of bigger gametes.

Individuals who generate smaller gametes are referred to as “males,” whereas those who produce bigger gametes are referred to as “females.” The female egg in humans, for example, is tiny yet big enough to hold 250,000 sperm.

In a lifetime, men generate 100-300 million sperm each ejaculate, whereas females produce approximately 400 eggs. Sperm is a non-renewable resource. Eggs are a precious commodity.

Only one sperm is selected to get access to the precious egg. Males fight for girls’ attention, and the most handsome suitor is chosen. Males are less picky about who they want to have sex with. Females are more picky since the implications of pregnancy are more severe for them.

Eugene Monick, a Jungian therapist, believes that the scientific facts of sperm rivalry may reveal a great deal about male insecurity and fear of failure. “Natural wisdom informs a man that a catastrophic consequence, such as the destiny of his sperm, is always present, either really or possibly… The foundation or archetypal pattern for a man’s everyday fight for virility is what the sperm goes through in its life journey toward the ovum.”

3. Males are reliant on females and have conflicting feelings about it

Source: independent.co.uk

Here’s a thinking experiment for you to try. How many women would be successful if they were informed they would each get a million dollars if they could persuade a guy to have sex with them in the next two hours (you can’t promise to give him any of the money).

The same offer was made to 100 men: locate a lady willing to have sex with him. I’m sure you’d agree that more women than males would be able to find a sexual partner.

As a consequence, males have a strong desire for women and are reliant on them in ways that women are not. Men seldom recognize the fundamental power that women hold, according to Sam Keen, author of Fire in the Belly: On Being a Man. We are reliant on women, yet we are often enraged that they are reliant on us.

4. Men are mammals, and most mammals do not have monogamous relationships

Source: parenting.firstcry.com

Only 3 to 5% of the approximately 5,000 species of mammals are known to establish lifelong pair relationships. Beavers, otters, wolves, a few bats and foxes, and a few hoofed creatures make up this limited group. Even among these ostensibly monogamous creatures, genetic research reveals that not all of them stay faithful to their mate.

In general, males are more likely than women to cheat: according to statistics from the latest General Social Survey, 20% of men and 13% of women had had intercourse with someone other than their spouse while married (GSS). The broad generalizations are a little deceiving.

Women cheat 11 percent of the time and males cheat 10% of the time in the 18-29 age group. Men cheat at a rate of 26% and women at a rate of 13% in the 70 to 79 year old age group. This reflects the biological fact that older males are able to procreate whereas older women are not.

Females experience menopause and andropause in different ways than guys. Knowing these secrets, like all of them, allows us to discuss the reality of sex, love, and loyalty.

5. Alpha males have more sex, but only a few of us achieve this status

Source: menstylefashion.com

In many species, a single male procreates with many females while also guarding his harem from other male predators. Polygyny is the scientific term for it, and it may be found in gorillas, stallions, elephant seals, elk, and other animals. Even today, we find that men with more money and power have more sexual partners than guys with less wealth and power. Monogamy may be ideal, yet many men get more than their fair share and others receive nothing.

Alpha males in the worlds of gorillas, stallions, seals, and elks will have many sexual partners and therefore many progeny, while many men will have few or none. “In general, the destiny of most men is to live in almost complete celibacy and to be a biological dead end,” writes social scientist Roy F. Baumeister in his intriguing book, Is There Anything Good About Men?

Even those of us who have had a lot of sex and numerous partners feel insecure and afraid of becoming a “biological dead end.” Even dominant men fear being supplanted by a younger stud as they age. This is a secret that, like all secrets, few men like to admit.

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