Do you suffer from IMS (Irritable Male Syndrome) ? Read this and find out how you can effectively treat the condition. It doesn’t matter if you’re young or old, a man or woman, married or single. Whatever your age, whatever your marital status, you can help yourself by learning some facts about IMS – which is a condition millions of men suffer from.
I have noticed that many men are not aware of the symptoms of irritable male syndrome, or the symptoms of prostate cancer. This is unfortunate because the symptoms of irritable male syndrome can be similar to the symptoms of prostate cancer and it can be difficult to differentiate between the two.
Irritable Male Syndrome (IMS), like most of the topics I write about, is based on both personal and professional experience. In my professional life, I’ve coached over 25,000 people and couples who completed my IMS assessment and realized they had an issue with male rage. IMS came dangerously close to destroying my marriage. After is an extract from a letter my wife sent to our counselor following our first meeting:
“The most concerning aspect of Jed’s personality is his frequent mood swings. He may be furious, accusatory, arguing, and blaming one minute, then buy me flowers and cards the next, and leave me love messages the next. In one hour, he’ll go from staring me down with daggers to beaming with joy. I typically shut down, and it takes a long time for me to feel open with him again.”
What makes IMS so painful is that both individuals believe they are doing their best, that they are responding to their partner’s provocation, and that they are becoming more afraid as their marriage starts to crumble and they don’t know how to rescue it. Here are some of the lessons I’ve learnt that helped me preserve my marriage and may help you save yours as well.
1. There is no one to blame for IMS.
He is the one who is impatient, angry, and accusing, thus it frequently seems like he is the issue to the woman. I frequently had the impression that my wife didn’t understand me and was doing things that irritated me. I’d shout, “Of course, I’m furious!” “Who wouldn’t be enraged when you treat me like that?” It is the IMS downward spiral that is to fault, not him or her, one spouse or the other.
2. Both spouses are frequently unaware of the IMS Downward Spiral.
Each of us thought we were behaving solely in reaction to the other. My wife felt compelled to retreat as a result of my rage. Her seclusion frightened and enraged me since I frequently felt alone and uncared for. It took us a long time to realize our individual roles in injuring ourselves and each other.
3. Women often unintentionally provoke men’s rage and defensiveness.
Although males are more likely to express IMS, women also have a role to play. They often do things, say things, or show their dissatisfaction with body language and tone of voice, all of which add to a man’s rage. Carlin’s body language said, “You’ve hurt me, and I want to get away from you.” When she would draw away from me and shut down, she didn’t say anything, but her body language said, “You’ve injured me, and I want to get away from you.” My apprehension over her retreat would quickly turn into rage.
4. IMS manifests itself in four ways.
I created a 50-item questionnaire for my first study, which led to the publishing of my book The Irritable Male Syndrome, which was completed by over 60,000 men and 30,000 women. The four symptoms listed below were the most frequent.
It’s as though he’d been emotionally scorched. Every little thing seems to irritate him. His spouse feels as if they’re walking on eggshells in order to avoid triggering him. He has the impression that everyone is trying to annoy him.
Anxiety is a feeling of dread, dread, and terror brought on by the expectation of a real or imagined hazardous event or scenario. IMS guys are always worried and afraid. They are coping with a variety of genuine dangers, including sexual changes, employment insecurity, and relationship issues. Many uncertainties also drive males to ponder and daydream about future issues that may or may not arise.
IMS guys believe they are unable to achieve their goals and objectives in life. They often feel defeated in their efforts to better their life. These guys are dissatisfied with their connections with their families, friends, and coworkers. They don’t sure where, how, or if they belong in this changing world.
Anger is described as a strong sense of dissatisfaction or animosity. Anger, on the other hand, is a complicated emotion. When expressed in this way, it may escalate to aggressiveness and violence. It may lead to despair and suicide if it is directed inward. Anger may be outspoken and overt, or it can be subtle and hidden. Anger may be audible or non-audible. It may take the form of venomous words, injurious deeds, or dead silence.
5. IMS is caused by five main factors.
IMS may be caused by a variety of factors, but these are the most frequent ones I’ve discovered.
- Hormonal imbalances.
Many people have heard of ‘roid fury,’ which occurs when males use steroid medications to gain strength. However, the most frequent trend is that decreased testosterone, which is normal with age, makes men more vulnerable to IMS.
- Changes in the chemistry of the brain.
Serotonin is a brain chemical that most people are familiar with. We feel happy when we have enough information running through our heads. We feel terrible when there isn’t enough. What most people don’t realize is that what we eat has an impact on our serotonin levels.
A high protein, low carbohydrate diet may cause serotonin levels to decrease, according to Judith Wurtman, Ph.D., and her colleagues at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. They discovered that males often confuse appetites for healthful carbs like those found in rice, maize, and squash with cravings for animal protein. According to Wurtman,
“When we eat protein instead of carbs, we become angry, irritated, or restless.”
- Stress levels are rising.
It’s no secret that stress levels are at an all-time high. Our economic system seems to be on the verge of collapsing. We are concerned about whether we will have a job tomorrow and how we will provide for our families as the cost of living continues to increase. We are concerned about the next election, as well as the threats of war and bloodshed in our neighborhoods.
- Role ambiguity.
Men’s and women’s roles are quickly shifting. Roles were strict in the past (men were breadwinners, women were homemakers), but they were obvious. We now have greater flexibility in switching jobs or creating new ones. Role confusion, on the other hand, may create uneasiness and anxiety, especially in males, leading to irritation and aggression.
- Terrors concerning humanity’s future.
For the first time in human history, the whole human species is in danger of extinction. We are doing things that put our continued presence on the planet in jeopardy, such as burning fossil fuels in ways that are causing a climate crisis and threatening to change the temperature in ways that could wipe us out, living under the constant threat of nuclear annihilation, and relying on constant growth, which is impossible on a finite planet.
We’re all afraid and terrified, and we’re all trying to push it away because we don’t know how to solve it. Men’s unsaid emotions are often channeled into anger—anger directed at ourselves for not being able to solve problems, at other men, and at women we love but feel unable to protect.
6. Dealing with IMS requires a comprehensive approach to the issue.
We must deal with issues on a personal level. As males, we must accept responsibility for our own anger, which is a symptom of Irritable Male Syndrome.
We need to deal with problems on a personal level. Couples must speak about what is going on and take responsibility for their respective roles.
Things need to be addressed on a social level. We must address the underlying reasons of our rage, as well as the worry, dread, and guilt we feel about what we have done, and continue to do, to life on Earth. Irritable Male Syndrome, or IMS, may serve as a wake-up call for us. Millions of people, I think, are ready to heed the call and go to work. Are you on board with me? If you found this post interesting, please leave a comment. I look forward to hearing from you. For more articles, please visit me here.
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