Aaron, my son, and his family recently paid us a visit. His true passion is music, which he excels at. He gave us a taste by performing at our neighborhood pub’s open mic. I was astounded at how excellent he’d become. I hadn’t heard him sing, play piano, or play guitar in a long time. Hearing his heartfelt words and passionate music brought tears to my eyes.
He is, however, a computer whiz-kid in his day job. He’s a big company’s tech person, and we got to chatting about the “internet.” His impression was that very little genuine value was still being provided. “Pornography is the only business that has continuously made money from the beginning,” he informed me. It made me think. Why do so many guys engage in pornography? What are their true desires? Is it possible that they will find what they are searching for?
As a therapist, I speak with a lot of men and women who have problems with pornography. For others, it disrupts their hormone balance and lowers testosterone levels. It also addresses depression and other emotional issues for others. Some men may have urological issues as a result of it. We now know that it may alter our brain chemistry, and many young men who are exposed to online pornography get hooked to it and struggle to form relationships with “real girls.”
This generation of young guys may be the first in human history to suffer from erectile dysfunction. I’m seeing an increasing number of young men, as well as some young women, who believe that “virtual relationships” are far easier to manage than actual ones. Many people have discovered that the strong rush they receive from sexual imagination driving pornography makes it impossible to be turned on by a real person.
Pornography poses a moral problem for some couples. “Does having ‘virtual sex’ in an online chat room count as being unfaithful if we promised to be honest with each other? Sarah, one of my customers, believes it does. She informed me, “I know if I did anything like that, it would be the end of the marriage.” “I understand that guys are different and have different sexual urges, but where will it stop if I can’t trust him to be honest?” Is it okay if he receives a lap dance at a sex club? That was something we had to cope with for a long. We all have our own aspirations. I don’t see why we can’t keep them under control. Why do males need pornography?”
For others, it causes resentment and a rift in the partnership. When the couple came to visit me, Monica was angry with Ed. “I’m not sure what I’m missing. I like sex. Ed can contact me anytime he wants. Why is it that he is pursuing pornographic bimbos? I suppose a passing glance isn’t hurting, but he appears to be glued to his computer at all times. It’s destroying our relationship. “What makes him feel compelled to do this?”
The question prompted me to recall my earliest encounters with “pornography.” I was around 11 years old at the time, and the sexual fluids were starting to flow. They appeared to be on all the time, and anything might trigger an erection—a beautiful girl sitting next to me in class, my seductive teacher, Miss Carruthers; a hairy animal running up a tree.
I was aware that sex magazines with photographs existed, but I had never seen one. I came upon an old magazine in an empty lot while riding my bike home one day. It turned out to be a “nature” magazine with images of naked men and women playing volleyball and strolling about as if it were the most natural thing in the world. It seemed like I’d been doped up on cocaine to my hypersensitive, sexual brain. I brought it home and masturbated, then went on the lookout for more pictures that would make me want to turn on.
Sex was new to us, as it was to many other kids our age, and we were mainly timid and too young to get anything going with a genuine lady. The urge for porn faded into the background as I grew up, had girlfriends, had sex, got married, divorced, and got married again (does this sound familiar?).
However, with the advent of the internet, it seems to be right in our face. So, why do guys engage in pornography?
- Porn provides them with sexual pleasure and release.
- They like a wide range of sexual experiences, and pornography provides that.
- In reality, the sexual activities that men like may not be the same as those that their partners enjoy. In the realm of pornography, our “sex partner” will do anything we desire. And they’ll have a good time doing it. They’re also never weary. And they’re always up for a challenge.
- There is a lot of tension and unpredictability in the actual world. Pornography is a predictable and controlled universe.
- Even if our sexual partner is accessible and interested the most of the time (which may be an issue at any age), there are instances when we’re itching to go but our spouse is exhausted tonight. Our orders are met with a harem of available playmates after a short trip to the home office.
- Many people have conquered the Madonna/Whore mentality, in which we find it difficult to become aroused with our spouses or girlfriends but go crazy for the wanton woman we work with. For many, having “regular sex” with our partner is still preferable than letting our imaginations run wild with the things we could do if we abandoned ourselves to the virtual world of infinite orgasms.
- In a society when we are all so preoccupied with job, house, and family, a pornographic affair may seem to be a tiny source of solace for people who are alone and lonely.
- One customer informed me, “Instant satisfaction isn’t quick enough for me.” Pornography may be the ideal answer for our fast-paced society, where we want everything to be delivered quickly and hot.
So, what are your thoughts? Why do so many guys nowadays consume pornography? What exactly are they searching for? Is it possible that they’ll find what they’re searching for? Is there anything that guys lose out on when they choose for pornographic sex? What effect does pornography have on their health and relationships? What does sex have in store for the future?
This text is sensitive. Try generating new copy.. Read more about positive effects of watching ponography and let us know what you think.
