The idea of men and women being sexier than ever is something that is commonly touted but almost never examined. We see the opposite every day in the media: women are portrayed as sex objects and little more, while men have to be rugged and masculine to be attractive. This can’t be good for us, can it? It’s time for a change and it’s time for men and women to look at their sex lives from a different perspective.
There is so much you can learn from men around the world, the best way to do this is to make use of the wisdom of the world’s leading guys on everything from love, work, sex and health, so that you can be the smartest guy in the room, and therefore gain the edge over your competition.
I grew up in a house where my father was enraged and my mother was terrified. I wanted to find out why they felt the way they did and how I could receive the safety and love I needed to live and flourish. I started as an amateur psychologist when I was five years old, and now that I have a master’s degree in social work and a PhD in international health, many refer to me as a professional. I’d want to share what I’ve learnt about Evolutionary Science in this essay.
Charles Darwin originally proposed the idea of evolution by natural selection in his book On the Origin of Species, published in 1859. According to Brian Richmond, curator of human origins at the American Museum of Natural History in New York City, the hypothesis includes two major points:
- All life on Earth is intertwined and interdependent.
- The variety of life on Earth is a result of population changes caused by natural selection, in which certain characteristics were preferred in a given environment over others.
The idea is often referred to as “survival of the fittest,” although this is deceptive since “fitness” refers to an organism’s capacity to live and reproduce, not its strength or athletic skill. This is when things start to get interesting. Who among us isn’t interested in learning more about evolutionary science and how it may help us enhance our sex and love lives?
anthropologist Helen Fisher, author of The Sex Contract and the Anatomy of Love, argues, “We are a species dedicated to sex.” “We laugh about it, read about it, dress up for it, and execute it on a daily basis. We have stories to explain it, penalties to put a stop to it, and laws to keep it in check.” Males and females, however, are distinct and confront various evolutionary difficulties, according to research.
Males and Females: The Basic Facts
Whether we are fish, ferns, or humans, biologists have a very basic and helpful description of what is male and what is female. An person may produce a high number of tiny gametes (sex cells) or a smaller number of bigger gametes. Individuals who generate smaller gametes are referred to as “males,” whereas those who produce bigger gametes are referred to as “females.” A single human female egg, for example, is so big that it may hold up to 250,000 sperm despite its tiny size. In a woman’s lifetime, she will ovulate around 400 eggs. Each ejaculate contains 100 to 300 million sperm in a healthy guy. [1]
Dr. Stephen Emlen is a global expert in animal social behavior and a Professor of Behavioral Ecology at Cornell University. “Because of all the resources a female will spend in each egg, it makes sense, in most circumstances, for her to be selective about which genes she permits to combine with it, and to continue to invest in its development and survival after fertilization,” he explains. It generally pays off for a male to compete with other males for as many eggs as possible. The more conventional male/female sex roles tend to emerge as a result.” [2]
The Evolution of Desire: Are There Two Human Natures?
None of your forefathers or mothers were childless. Consider the significance of that sentence for a minute. Over the course of our 2 million-year evolutionary history, none of your forefathers or mothers ever dropped the ball. You are a result of their reproductive success, and you can guarantee that your goals, behavior, emotions, heart, mind, and soul are all designed to pass on your genes to the next generation.
We never choose partners at random, even if the process isn’t always conscious. We are all derived from a long and uninterrupted line of ancestors who successfully competed for attractive mates, attracted reproductively valuable partners, kept mates long enough to reproduce, and fended off interested competitors.
The method we carry out these essential tasks is referred to as our “reproductive strategy” by evolutionary psychologists. It’s how we do things around here, our standard operating procedure. It’s what attracts us to particular individuals, what evolutionary psychologist David Barash refers to as “the whisperings inside.” “We don’t always do what we hear, but we must always listen,” says the author.
For example, anthropologist Melvin Konner claims that “men are more aggressive than women, while women are more nurturing, at least toward babies and children.” “I apologize if this is a cliché, but it doesn’t make it any less true.”
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“If mating drives and other aspects of human psychology are products of our evolutionary past, they should be present worldwide, not only in the United States,” evolutionary psychologist David Buss writes in his book The Evolution of Desire: Strategies in Human Mating. To put his ideas to the test, he undertook a five-year research with colleagues from 37 tribes spread over six continents and five islands. There were representatives from all major racial, religious, and ethnic groupings. His study team polled a total of 10,047 people across the globe. His research may help us better grasp the parallels and differences between male and female evolution.
What Are Women’s True Desires?
In Buss’ global research, he discovered that the top three characteristics that women want in men are identical to those that men seek in women: intellect, compassion, and love. The ability of a man to protect her and her children, his capability to provide, and his desire to commit to a relationship are all factors that women consider.
These four fundamental needs are reflected in what women find attractive in men.
Women all around the world want powerful, towering guys.
Men with stature and power attract even ladies who are capable of taking care of themselves. As a collective, women consider short men to be less attractive than tall men. Eighty percent of women in personal advertisements in the United States who specify height desire a guy 6 feet or taller. As a 5’5″ man, I’ve had to cope with that fact my whole life and find other methods to enhance my attractiveness outside my height.
This isn’t the only problem I’m having. Only approximately 15% of all males in the United States are six feet or taller. As a result, 85 percent of men may believe they fall short.
Women are attracted to guys who have a high earning potential.
This is true all across the globe, and it does not seem to be dependent on whether or not the women are wealthy. Female physicians, for example, are more attracted to even higher-paid male doctors than to male nurses. This may be challenging in our increasingly automated economy, where more and more men are finding it difficult to obtain well-paying employment.
Women all around the world are attracted to guys who are older than they are.
This is hardly unexpected, given that older males in most countries have a greater social standing and earn more money. In the United States, 30-year-old men earn $14,000 more per year than 20-year-old men and $7,000 less per year than the typical 40-year-old man.
Women desire males who will devote their resources to the lady and her children’s care and support.
Men who show their capacity and willingness to assist the lady and her children are attractive to women.
Even for women who claim that money, prestige, strength, and height don’t matter, these trends remain true. The “whisperings inside” that have aided reproductive success throughout evolutionary history are often more powerful than our rational thinking.
What Do Men Truly Desire?
Men, like women, are looking for a partner who will provide them with love, intellect, and compassion. However, a guy is attracted to youth and attractiveness. This isn’t simply a contemporary desire fueled by advertising and a desire on the part of males to have control over women. According to Dr. Buss, it is a universal drive for reproductive success based on evolutionary forces.
Men who married with women who couldn’t have children left no descendants. Every guy living today is a descendant of those who did not make that error. “Ancestral males addressed the issue of obtaining reproductively useful women in part by choosing youthful and healthy women,” says Buss.
Buss discovered that attractive women drew males from all around the globe. He claims that “full lips, clean and smooth complexion, clear eyes, lustrous hair, and excellent muscular tone are widely desired.”
Because a woman’s ability to conceive and carry children declines as she gets older, youth is a good predictor of reproductive capability. Men’s desire to youth has long been recognized and respected in most civilizations throughout the globe. Men who experience this natural desire have recently been ridiculed and humiliated. When we show an interest in feminine attractiveness, we are accused of being sexist or shallow.
According to psychologist Judith Langlois and her colleagues, our biological constitution seems to be embedded into our attraction to beauty. Adults rated the attractiveness of color slides of white and black female faces in one research. Then two or three-month-old babies were given pairings of these faces with varying degrees of attraction. Both male and female babies lingered longer in front of the more beautiful faces.
“This data contradicts the widely held belief that beauty is acquired via progressive exposure to contemporary societal standards,” Buss adds.
The United States, and even Western civilizations, are not immune to sex disparities. “Men in all thirty-seven cultures included in the worldwide research value physical beauty in a prospective partner more than women,” Buss finds, “regardless of geography, habitat, marriage system, or cultural living arrangement.”
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